the blessings of my life

Nena Naturales last left off with me and my little family making the big move to Florida. Well we made it! We've been living here in South Florida with my boyfriend's family for almost 6 months and so far, so good. Why the big change of scenery? It was very important and fundamental to Lucas and I that I stay home with Alice for at least her first year, and that just wasn't possible in Alaska for us right now. If we stayed in Alaska, we would have struggled to make ends meet, and we probably would have had to put Alice in day care part time so the both of us could work and attend school. In Florida however, where it's rent and almost bill free, Lucas can work for his father, I can stay at home with Baby A (and by the way, home is 5 beautiful acres with privacy and pets and a cute little pond) then next semester we start attending University while taking advantage of all the free daycare from close family like Grandma 'Uela. The three of us (K well maybe just the 2 of us really) miss Alaska dearly, but we'd like to live there when things are more stable, and permanent, like maybe when we have enough for a down payment on a home.
We're really blessed to have this backup, and we're taking the advatage to the fullest. Unfortunately, there are some haters out there.

Recently someone close to me really hurt my feelings. In a polite, and yet not so polite way, they told me that I'm being an immature adult and mother and struggling because I stay at home with my daughter instead of getting a part time night job, while my boyfriend stays at home and sleeps with our baby. This opinion formed through a misreading of a facebook post I posted seeing if any of my closest friends and family would care to chip in for a few new cloth diapers for her this holiday season. I don't NEED anyone to buy me anything. I was not BEGGING for diapers over the internet. It's impossible to run out of diapers when you're cloth diapering, its just that I had to retire a few of her sized small diapers. I like doing her diaper laundry once a week, and having 5 diapers missing from circulation threw all that off.
I really wanted to hurt this person back, and I really could have. But I didn't. At first, I didn't reply because I was still working out just exactly what I wanted to say. Later on, a different friend related to me this cool quote:

"Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it kind, is it true, is it necessary, does it improve upon the silence?" -Shirdi Sai Baba

After that, the reason for my non reply was for the above logic.
This person didn't bother to ask why I need diapers. She didn't bother to ask what my lifestyle is like. She didn't bother to ask me if I was struggling, she just jumped to the conclusion. A real friend would have asked me these things. They would have asked me if I'm happy.

I live on 5 acres, I drive a relatively new car, and I never have to choose between a meal a bill and every one of Alice's needs are always met.
I'm not trying to brag, I'm trying to make clear that my choice to be a stay at home Mom for the time being is not hurting me or my daughter or my boyfriend, or anyone else! We're not living with the in-laws forever, but this is what family is for. They're here for us when we need them the most, not just around major holidays and family events. They're helping me and Lucas build the foundation for our family, so that soon, we'll be our own thriving unit, and not always relying on others (them) to bail us out. Me and LJ were not expecting to be young parents. Alice was just as much a surprise to Lucas and I as she was to everyone else, probably more so!

Books, woolies, and moving

A couple things.
Alice is getting curiouser and curiouser so I bought her some books to read to her and some for her to just look at. I'm very picky about our reading material. I'm a bit of an elitist when it comes to books, I'll admit. I went through all of the baby books in Borders and picked out these.


I've also been working on my own pattern for snappible wooley soakers. I've made four so far, but I think the 5th one will be the one that I remake and sell, hopefully. Each one is good, with a thing or two amiss with them, but I think I've finally got it down. My father-in-law gave me some start-up money, so I bought a snap press and $100 worth of used 100% wool sweaters. I've used just 2 sweaters so far. I plan to make colorful wooleys with prefolds dyed to match :)


All of that has to be put on hold for now. I'm moving from my beloved home of Alaska, to Lucas' home-state of Florida. Sigh. Things just aren't working out for us in Alaska, financially. I'll also be able to spend all of my time with Alice. If we stay in Alaska I'm going to have to go back to work soon and leave Alice with a sitter. I can't be the mother Alice deserves right now if we stay here. Hopefully we'll do better in Florida with his family there to help us. We'll be back in a few months, but probably just to pick up my stuff from storage, but only God knows.
Our original plan was to drive down to Florida and take only what we could carry in the back of my pickup. But that just felt like I was being made to jam up and try to fit my whole life in the back of my truck and drag it across the country. So Lucas is renting me out a storage unit and we'll come back for my stuff soon.

Earth bound diaper

I today made a diaper! Its not the best diaper, and I need a lot more practice, but I made it!
Here it is:

I made it out of 2 t-shirts of mine that I never wear. The outer part is made from an Earth Bound fan t-shirt my brother gave me, its his favorite game. He's at boot camp right now, I'm going to print these and send them to him. I think he'll really like it. The shirt didn't even fit me pre-pregnancy, so it'll definitely never fit me again, especially now that I'm post-baby.

The elastic on the legs is really hard! But I'll get the hand of it.

Here's the first diaper I made out of a prefold and a flannel blanket:
I think I'm getting better.

My Weekend

This is a picture Lucas took this weekend when he, baby and I all went down to Portage Glacier and camped out for the night. I went kicking and screaming because it was raining at first. But all this week Lucas has been working really hard all week at his new job, so he dragged me kicking and screaming to enjoy his weekend in the wilderness.
I complained while we packed, I complained while we rode. In the end though, it turned out to be one of the most enjoyed times we've spent together since becoming a family.
We got off to a rainy late start. Lucas set up the tent while I breastfed Alice, then we all cuddled into the tent together. It was so relaxing and beautiful to fall asleep to the sounds of birds chirping and the sounds of the river while cuddling with those most beloved to me. It was awesome waking up in warm sunshine.
Today Lucas has gone back to work, so it's just me and baby right now.
I make this delicious homemade sandwich bread every once in a while, and today me and Lucas decided that I should make a loaf or 2 a week from now on, so we can stop buying store bought pre-sliced bread. I'm pretty excited. I've actually been thinking about doing that for a while, and was pretty excited when he brought it up first.
Store bought bread scares me a little.

Here are the ingredients of typical store bought whole wheat bread:
Whole wheat flour, water, wheat gluten, high fructose corn syrup, contains 2% of less of: soybean oil, salt, molasses, yeast, mono and diglycerides, exthoxylated mono and diglycerides, dough conditioners (sodium stearoyl lactylate, calcium iodate, calcium dioxide), datem, calcium sulfate, vinegar, yeast nutrient (ammonium sulfate), extracts of malted barley and corn, dicalcium phosphate, diammonium phosphate, calcium propionate (to retain freshness).

Here are the ingredients in my homemade sandwich bread: White whole wheat, salt, sugar, egg, olive oil, water, milk, and yeast.

I don't know about you, but I don't know, and can hardly pronounce, a lot of those ingredients. I like to know what I'm eating.

Cloth diapering

I contribute to another blog, solely dedicated to cloth diapering and all its wonderfulness. Here's a link to my post on that blog, about how and why I cloth diaper.
This whole week has been like Christmas to me! All the stuff I've been ordering online has been coming in. My turkish spindle, my pretty pink roving, and cloth diapers galore!! Earlier this week I got 4 dream eze diapers my mother in law bought for Alice from Baby Half Off and some snappis from ebay. I can't believe I've been cloth diapering for 2 months with not ONE snappi until now...now I have nine :D
Today's present from the post man ha been my favorite by far. I received my custom order of size small fitted cloth diapers from Little Owls (she's the brains behind the other blog btw)

Now here are some pictures of my beautiful baby girl, sporting a few of her awesome new diapers! (the photo at the top is credited to the lovely seamstress who made the diapers, Jessica, here's her blog)

Sigh

So, my boyfriend, my daughter, and I have just been evicted over an awful mix up. But I'm going to see this as the beginning of something great. My MIL is going to talk to the FIL about co-signing for a home for us. We've had the worse luck, home-wise, and it's not because we're irresponsible, its just...lame. I think Alice can feel how upset I am, she's being a little fussier, and a lot cuddlier.
I really hope this all works out.

My Miracle

One of the most rewarding experiences of motherhood is breastfeeding my daughter, and watching her thrive on what only I can give her. When I nurse her, I can feel my heart swell for her. When I breastfeed my daughter, I feel like the most special person in the whole wide world. I feel a peace, close to the same peace I felt when I used to curl up with my Mommy when I was little. I can't even imagine feeding her a powder from a can when I have everything she needs within me. A friend of mine were talking about breastfeeding. She asked aloud why so many mothers are able to breastfeed, but choose against it. I told her that breastfeeding is a mother's commitment to her child, and not all mother's are ready and willing for that kind of commitment.
And then I told her that it's a good and bad thing that formula is readily available. It's bad because many families fall back on it, and its such a loss too! Women need to believe in themselves! It's a super ability! But its great at the same time, for adopting parents, mother's with AIDS. If formula wasn't available and affordable for them, things would be pretty bad.
Our society just needs to bring back wet nurses!